This ask is in response to The Hans Bellmer Drawing post. You say in your commentary that you hesitate to label hebephilia “abnormal.” But is it really responsible to normalize a type of sexual preference that can NEVER lead to consensual relationships/sex? I agree that we should be compassionate toward those who experience this type of attraction and do not act on it, but I am uncomfortable with the way you positioned it.

i am not fond of continua. Either/or is an effective short hand for gathering a broader perspective on matters it ultimately mischaracterizes the way we understand.

This becomes rigidly defined as not that; vice versa.

Further, there is–at least in my experience–rarely an option between polar extremes, it’s usually more a decision between which is the least shitty choice.

By refusing to advocate for or repudiate hebephilia, I was not implicitly attempting normalization as much as centering it between two–in my mind, far more problematic and debilitating–societal conceptualizations: normal & abnormal.

If anything, I wanted to communicate non-judgmental empathy. I do know a thing or two about what it is like to be separated from the possibility of consensual relationships/sex. It’s a pretty horrible feeling. Dealing with the additional guilt/shame/stigma that comes from being deemed ‘abnormal’ doesn’t seem worth it just to spare a little bit of discomfort.

But again, if by positioning things the way I did I even for a second made you feel as if this blog isn’t a safe space, then I will do anything in my power to address and rectify that immediately.