Sex isn’t something you do, sex is a place you go. It’s a space you enter. Inside yourself and with another or others. So where do you go in sex? What parts of you do you connect to? What do you seek to express there? Is it a place for transcendence and spiritual union? Is it a place for naughtiness? Is it a place to be safely aggressive? Is it a place where you can finally surrender and not have to take responsibility for everything? Is it a place where you can express your infantile wishes? What comes out there? It’s a language. It isn’t just a behaviour.