FWIW: the self-portrait I submitted to this weeks ‘art’ themed nymphoninjas submission Sunday was accepted.
(Extra special thanks to sporeprint for not being at all bothered when I asked him about helping me edit less than 24 hours before I needed the finished product and managing to remain effortlessly patient with my damned demanding ass during the editing process.)
There’s a zen proverb that runs somewhere along the lines of comparing yourself to someone else is like sticking your head in a bucket of glue.
I constantly offer this advice to others; but rarely heed it myself.
The last two years have been very difficult for me. Trauma, loss and angst compounded by unemployment and persistent health problems. During this time, creativity—the only thing in my life that has presented consistent refuge—has been limited to thinking the work I’m trying to make doesn’t matter. I get stuck in this self-defeating-Orson-Welles-made-Citizen-Kane-at-26/Arundathi-Roy-wrote-The-God-of-Small-Things-at-28-what-have-I-done-of-any-consequence loop.
I’m always so focused on how precious little time humans have and as a result I focus on trying to make everything count to the fullest. It’s not a bad way to live so long as you give yourself permission to make mistakes. Mistakes are how you learn + grow emotionally, spiritually and artistically. I forget that so often…
The above is a frame from a video I shot several months ago. I don’t like shooting video—I’m an analog snob—but desperate times, desperate measures. The video itself was a disaster and I haven’t looked at it since I shot it. But when I saw that this weeks theme was ‘art’, I searched desperately for something to submit. Re-watching the awful video, this one frame jumped out at me so with the a little help from Alveoli Photography to clean it up I decided to share it as a reminder to myself and others that showing up is just as if not more important than having a devastating aesthetic sensibility.
Sometimes we have to create many things to get one thing we are happy with, and it this case it seems like you captured hundreds or thousands of frames for your video and found one frame you were happy with. I think in the end it was definitely worth it, and I’m glad you put in the time to find the right moment and thanks for sharing it with us.