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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about mutual masturbation.

Those thoughts are amorphous but I’m going to try to fit them to words:

I guess what I don’t understand–literally ever–is where the heteropatriarchy draws the line on what is and isn’t sex. I mean penis in vagina (henceforth PiV) sex is sex. Anal sex is sex.

Bill Clinton famously tried to suggest that oral sex wasn’t sex and I think folks general consider oral sex as sex these days.

What about mutual masturbation? And before someone claps back about it depends on whether you touch someone else’s genitals–is the above image a depiction of a sex act?

And why the hell do we categorize masturbation as not also sex because of the absence of a partner? What’s the problem with it all being sex?

As I’ve mentioned about a bazillion times: I grew up in a Xtian doomsday cult. I was taught that masturbation was a mortal sin. Even when the topic crept into conversations in my junior and senior year of high school–the response was I don’t do that and think anyone who does is a disgusting pervert.

Conversely–now that I’ve escaped that orbit–most of the folks I know have these wonderful stories about climbing into bed and pulling the covers up to their chins and then racing to orgasm or you be the boy and I’ll be the girl and you perform oral sex on me and then we’ll shift roles.

As far as masturbation goes it’s the type of sex I am the most comfortable with because it’s the most familiar.

I completely missed out on the experience of exploring my sexuality with those I essentially trust.

I think less these days about finding a partner and more about how to get a group of friend together solely for the purpose of a mutual masturbation party.

It would be something I think would be enjoyable and personally it would come closer to scratching the itch I have to have a reliable sexual partner–which just isn’t possible for me right now.

Le sigh.

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